Life is good.
Simple statement, massive implication. Life is hard! True but not the tone your life has to adhere to.
If the overwhelming experiences of our life is bad, painful and threatening we will conduct ourselves in a certain manner. In the same way, if our life has been has been filled with positive, joyful and safe experiences that outweigh the bad we would conduct ourselves in an entirely opposite manner. Does that indicate a type of predestination or does imply an absence of free will? Absolutely not. We are an unpredictable lot at best, humans are emotionally dodgy and influencable. But we can often decipher or delineate the reactions of others armed with the knowledge of thier history and others can do the same with us.
If we make our decisions with our conscience mind and direct our life against our cache of experiences, opinions, pains, joys, and influences and it is this that directs our path, then we should be able to sway the percentages in this cache or subconscience from negative to positive.
Put short and sweet, if we make the bulk of our knee jerk reactions or emotions or opinions off of this database of our personal history, we should be able to influence the input. We cannot change the past, we can change how we view it. We can not change the trajectory of others, we can change how we feel about them. We can change it all by the words out of our mouth and having the discipline to manage our reactions for a period in time enough to begin to sway the percentages of positive to negative experiences. Once we get over the dam it should become easier and easier.
One of the most disheartening things I see is an "adult" still being tossed to and fro by something they experienced at the hands of another fallible, imperfect, judgemental human being. Some have it worse than others, some people have been through hell. At some point you must grasp the rails of your own life and begin to sway the direction of your own destiny. Become the decider, not the predestined. Yes, what happened was wrong but do not allow it make wreckage of the rest of your life.
You have gifts, you have talents, that has not changed. Who told you that you could not win and things don't work out for you or that you are no good at something or no good in general? Who was it that said that you could not sing, write, dance, speak, influence or create? Who says you have to be a bad mother or father? That you have to live the same oppressed and ignorant existence you see displayed in your neighborhood? Someone in pain, that's who, someone who needed help themselves.
Let the dead bury the dead, shake the dust off of your sandals, move on, outgrow them. Direct your life, design your future, become strong, then, if possible, go back for survivors and help them.
You are worthy you are capable and "no" doesn't matter anymore. Live life out loud and make an impact.
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